Socks, women’s in particular

There are a few things in my life that I’ve had to come to terms with recently:

  1. My thighs are much too big to ever fit into skinny jeans.
  2. My head is much too big to fit into any sort of hat, even those worn by the Pittsburgh Pirates in the ’80s.
  3. My feet are done growing, and will therefore never fit into the size 12s Andrew Childress wore in 4th grade.

Depending on your sources, I wear what is approximately the average shoe size for American males.  It baffles me when I buy socks that are supposed to fit shoe sizes 6-12 (mine are definitely in that range) and they’re about three inches longer than my foot from heal-to-toe.  I guess they “fit” my feet, but they sure as hell don’t fit properly. My best friend when I was 4 years old wore his knee-high tube socks with the last 4 inches drooping off his foot as if he didn’t tug quite hard enough when he put them on that morning.  The image still haunts me.  I can’t deal with baggy, slouchy, loose socks.

This is why I exclusively wear women’s socks. Even with small feet, these socks are so tight you think that you might not be able to get your foot all the way in the first time you try.  Then there’s a moment when your heal overcomes the crux and your foot virtually pops into place.  It goes home, safe, sound, and snug.  It breaths a sigh of relief.  It jizzes in its pants.

date Jan 7th 2010
author Mike
category Life


Welcome to the new year, the new decade, and the new Rhymes With Milk.

This last week has been full of reminiscing over the past ten years: the tragedies (9/11), the mistakes (Bush), the triumphs (Jon & Kate are off the air). Everybody has been very negative about it because they’re so fixated on all of the things that have gone wrong, so I’m done listening. I’m going to start looking forward, because this is bound to be a big next decade for me. I’m going to be my mid-thirties by the end of it. I’m probably going to be married, and have children and a mortgage. Who knows if this blog will still exist, but I sure hope it does.

In that vein, I’d like to layout some goals here. Not for the decade per se, a little more short-term than that, but still for the sake of posterity. Maybe on Jan 1, 2020 I’ll look back at this post and make myself feel sad about loosing my youth or something. Whatever.

Beyond posterity, I’m doing this for a few other reasons. I’ve set a lot of personal goals for myself over the last few years, and many have fallen horribly by the wayside for one reason or another. I’m hoping that publicly declaring them makes me more likely to pursue them. It might work, or it might not, but it’s worth a shot. Also, having a job has understandably distracted me from my personal life. I have fallen into a routine that essentially erases my weekdays, and makes me too tired on the weekends to do anything. For example, I have been “working” on this revised version of Rhymes With Milk since around August, and most of it got finished before I got my job and during my 4 day Thanksgiving weekend. It shouldn’t take me that long to do a relatively simple* website design, especially when it has been the top priority of my to-do list for that whole time. If I plan to get anything done ever again, I need to force myself to find the time to do it.

Anyway, here go the big ones:

  1. I want to ride my bike. A lot. I am declaring it now, I am definitely going to ride all 120 miles of the Triple Bypass on July 10th. I’d also like to do the 100 mile Centurian the following week, but their website has too little info so far for me to be sure of that just yet.
  2. I want to blog. When I stopped back in April 2009, I hated blogging. I stopped the Daily Picture Project, then I haphazardly put together an ugly and difficult to manage photoblog here on rwm which just drove me away from it altogether. These last few months, though, I’ve had a lot to say and nowhere to say it. Not that I have grand ideas that I think the world needs to hear. I just didn’t have a medium for exploring and processing subjects that I was interested in, or a place to record memories. This comes back to that posterity thing I was talking about earlier. I’d like to remember this decade, so starting today, January 1, 2010, I would like to start blogging, regardless of the fact that this site isn’t complete yet (just do me a favor and don’t go to the About or Contact pages. Or the permalink to this post. Or the archives. Well, actually go to the archives because they’re pretty cool looking, but ignore the fact that they don’t flow well with the rest of the site. And ignore the link colors in the archive, which I messed up somehow. I’ll have to fix that. If only I had the time…)

    UPDATE: I just made a small adjustment to the archives and now they’re all outta whack. Don’t bother going there for a while…

*I’m just going to say right now that this website was actually a bitch to make, I learned a lot, and it really stretched my abilities, particularly in the realm of WordPress PHP programming. I didn’t add anything too particularly complicated compared to “real” WordPress themes, but I went into it knowing hardly anything about the WordPress back end and coded everything from scratch.  There was a lot head scratching and “What the hell is this stupid loop everybody is obsessed with?” talk for the first month or two. Oh how naïve I was.

No Comments »
date Jan 1st 2010
author Mike
category Life
tags, , ,

I’m about to get a massive headache because of this, I can just tell.

Today I got a virus.  Someway, somehow, I got a virus.  Rather, my computer got a virus.

I was doing nothing out of the ordinary, just searching web tutorials on how to format Wordpress category links, then BAM!  I got a popup.

“Weird,” I think to myself. “Chrome is usually pretty good about stopping these.”

I Xed out of it and go about my business.  A few minutes later, I Google something new in my pursuit of blog customization, and the link I follow takes me to a site that asks me to confirm that I’m not a bot “for our records.” I type in the squiggly figure, hit enter, and get taken to a site advertising the new Twitter for local singles.

“This is not,” I think.

This has been happening now for about an hour.  Some pages are not loading, some pages are causing the graphic indicating the page is still loading to perpetually spin, others are quickly redirecting me to ad sites, and popups have been, well, popping up every few minutes.

Now, for about a month or two, I’ve been considering reformatting my computer’s HDD and reloading Windows on it. I’ve loaded a whole lot of crappy software onto the computer since I reloaded Windows back in January, and it’s made things super sluggish and poopy. I convinced myself that it’s totally not necessary, and since it would be an elective procedure, that emotional breakdown I had last time would hardly be worth it.

This might just push me over the edge.  If I decide to go through with this, I hope hope hope it goes smoother than last time.

No Comments »
date Oct 20th 2009
author Mike
category Life

Me: “If something happened to you that should be on the news, which local station would you call?”

Me: "If something happened to you that should be on the news, which local station would you call?"
Ally: "CNN. My life is important." No Comments »
date Oct 16th 2009
author Mike
category Life

Badass way to recycle

Badass way to recycle:

Strange that they probably cost more than the original lenses did.

No Comments »
date Sep 28th 2009
author Mike
category Life